Tag Archives: Short story

Listening – Short Story

12 Jul

I know, I know, it’s been too long once again. But I think I am finally starting to get back on track. I have been busy today. Finished up a column for a different site, wrote two comic book reviews (one still yet to go), finished writing a new song, and edited this bitch! And I loved every minute of it. No more delaying, I’ll shut up and get to it.


The sun gleams off Trevor’s computer screen as he sits outside trying to enjoy the warm weather – he doesn’t want to be cooped up inside. The gigantic bright star beats down on Trevor, the slight breeze being the only thing allowing for him to stay outside for any extended period of time. Sweat drizzles down his forehead and neck, slowly making its way down his body and finally being soaked up by his clothes. Rings around his armpit are starting to form, creating unattractive pit stains. Trevor is not phased as he sits alone in his backyard on this beautiful evening.

Trevor stares at a blank computer screen. He stares and stares and stares until his eyeballs start to hurt – feeling as though they are glued open and needles are starting to poke through the sclera. Writers block has set in as he tries to begin his next assignment.

Trevor is a journalist for his local paper. The paper is a small little thing – nothing compared to the likes of the New York Times. His articles are typically pop culture related; anything from the unjustified cancelation of Firefly, the terrible business practices of the mainstream comic companies, Zooey Deschanel vs Katy Perry – basically, whatever he can take out of that so called idea maker.

Trevor finally decides to take a break. “Staring at a computer screen until your eyes start to bleed clearly isn’t helping,” he thinks to himself. He reaches for the case of beer beside him and pulls out a Stella. He roots around looking for the bottle opener before finally being able to crack that fresh cold beverage. Taking the first sip of a beer is a heavenly experience Trevor absorbs down to the tiniest cell. After finishing the amazing first sip, Trevor reaches for his jacket that lay behind him. He digs and ruffles around through pockets.

“Fuck! I forgot to pick up smokes.” Trevor says aloud to himself.

Shrugging it off, Trevor takes another sip of his beer and stares into the sky. He sits there and ponders – Thinking about anything and everything that will take his mind off his pending deadline. Trevor takes in the scenery. The trees plumb and full of dark green leaves sway back and forth giving a rippling effect of throwing a stone into a pond. The aroma of flowers and freshly cut grass are almost too much to bear.

As Trevor sits, topics start popping into his head that are not relevant to the article he needs to write.

*Hard-core Atheists are just as bad as religious fanatics. I don’t want them shoving their values and opinions down my throat… Atheists shouldn’t be any different. People just need to try and be a decent human being. Even that is hard for some people*

*Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours album by far is the best. The only problem is that my friends and I only listen to it on vinyl, when hung over, and only side 1. Maybe we should try to fix that*

*Fart and poop jokes are classic!*

As Trevor contemplates the important things in life a little black dot starts flying around his head. Ignoring it, Trevor continues on to his next thought. Before he knows it the black dot smashes into his forehead with the same force as an airsoft gun – not overly painful, but enough to get your attention. The tiny black dot drops to the wood deck paneling.

After Trevor realizes it was a fly, out of reaction says, “Hey there little guy, you okay?”
“…Yeah… just a little dazed. Do you realize you have a pretty thick skull?” a soft little voice comes from the fly.
“What the fuck!” Trevor yells.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. There is no need to use a potty mouth like that. I am Fredrick the fly.”
“Um… is this actually happening? I don’t remember doing any drugs today.”
“Yes, this is actually happening. Why wouldn’t it?”
“I… I.. I don’t know. Maybe because animals don’t actually talk.”
“Of course we do. It isn’t our fault that you guys never listen.”

Trevor sat there flabbergasted not knowing how to properly react to this situation. While trying to figure out how to cope, he stared back into the sky. As he did this he noticed a robin doing figures eights and then b-line directly at him. Trevor ducked his head as the robin flew passed – just missing him by a couple of centimetres.

“Way to pay attention,” said the robin in a high pitched raspy voice.
“Again… whoa. I have to be imagining this,” stated Trevor.
“Nope, not even in the slightest. My name is Robin. I know it isn’t that original, but my parents were hippies and thought it was funny.”
“You got to be kidding me. This is ridiculous.”
“While my name may be ridiculous, I am not kidding you.”

Again Trevor gazed blankly into space. How was he supposed to react to animals talking to him? This is not a normal thing for a human to experience. In fact, he thought he had just one too many beers.

“Okay, I guess if this is happening I might as well embrace it,” Trevor said trying to convince himself.
“Yup, you better. I think we have more company on the way,” Fredrick said.
“Really? Awesome. Who else is coming?” said Robin.
“I think Frank and Lucy said they were going to try and make it.”
“I haven’t seen those guys in forever.”
“Wait, wait. There are more?” Trevor questioned.
“Yup.” Fredrick and Robin said together.

Trevor, baffled, eyed the two animals in front of him. Fredrick was a generic black fly. He sat there twitching his front legs over his compound eye looking up at Trevor waiting for him to calm down and realize the situation was real. Robin on the other hand was moving his head back and forth in a shifty manner; the same way all birds seem to be sporadically looking at everything.

“So…” Trevor said while still trying to figure out the situation he was in.

All three of them looked toward the back gate as noises emerged from behind the fence. Two animals stealthily slipped through the gate through the gap in the bottom. A dog and a cat had made their way into Trevor’s backyard. The dog was a golden retriever. The dog’s fur shimmering as it walked toward the group. The cat was a Siamese with orange streaks running through its face and back.

“Frank! Lucy! You made it,” shouted Fredrick.
“We sure did. No thanks to Frank here,” joked the dog.
“Bullshit. If it wasn’t for you having continuously licking yourself to make yourself look pretty, we would have been here 10 minutes ago,” Frank the cat retorted.
“Either way, I am glad you guys made it,” shared Fredrick.

The animals sat there and chatted amongst each other for a few minutes while Trevor, once again, had to deal with the situation randomly thrust upon him. He thought to himself: How could this even be happening? Am I that drunk and don’t even realize it? Or am I dreaming? But I guess I need to be a good host now that they are all here.

“So… anyone need a drink?” questioned Trevor.
“I’ll have a cap full.” Fredrick said excitedly.
“Took you long enough to ask,” Robin replied.
“Can you pour mine into a saucer?” asked Frank.
“None for me thanks. I am on an exclusive gluten free diet,” Lucy pronounced.
“Alright, coming right up.” Trevor yelped.

Trevor went and grabbed all the beer as requested. He presented the drinks as requested to all of his impromptu guests.

———– A few beers later ———–

“The contrast between faith and science plays a predominant role in some of the greatest science fiction related televisions shows of all time. The perception of Gias Baltar in Battlestar Galactica shows the audience how someone can go from a non-believer and be transformed into an icon and advocate for a brand new religious view. Even though he took advantage of the situation and didn’t truly believe it at the beginning – and was worshiped as a false idol – that experience pushed Gias into the proper direction. Then in LOST there is faith verus science, in season two episode one: Man of Science, Man of Faith, in which two of the main characters argue over personal ideals. The fact that believeing in faith is never easy for one of the characters, who eventually loses all faith later on in life, while the science character sticks true to his guns is a great dichotomy. The science character eventually does take a leap of faith, but it is rooted in doing what is good for the benefit of others – the main teaching of the bible. Either way, in both cases the resulting outcome is the betterment of the whole over the individual – even if there are some slip ups along the way” finished Robin after a 10 minute rant.

“Sorry man, but everything you said went through one ear and out the other. Do you know you sound like the Aflac Duck?” Trevor made out while busting a gut.

“What is the Aflac Duck?” Robin questioned.
“You know… the commercial? With Gilbert Gottfried voicing him.”
“Yeah… I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Come on! Really?”
“While we can talk to you, it doesn’t mean we watch television. We do have better things to do you know” Frank snarked.
“Oh! I just assumed, because Robin when on a 10 minute rant about Battlestar Galactica and LOST.”
“You know what happens when you assume, right?” Lucy joked.
“The answer is Netflix. My nest just happens to be situated in an awesome location.”
“You guys are missing out. You could aspire to be like Lassie, Ari Bud, Babe, or even the new concept for a Sebastian like character. I bet you would love it.”
“We’ll have to look into it,” stated Frederick, “but it’s getting late, I think we best be going. That way you can go back to your ever important starring into the sky aimlessly.”
“Oh… okay,” Trevor sadly said.
“Thanks for the beer. See you,” said Robin.
“See you”
“Have a good one”

And with that, Trevor was once again by himself starring at that blank screen, wishing his new found friends had not left him. As Trevor pondered he wondered if he had just gone through serious nicotine withdraw – but even so, animal figures starting popping into his head. Some of these were based on real animals, and others were pure fiction. Trevor turned to his keyboard and started to type:

The connection animal characters play in movies can have a profound effect on the individual watching. In each situation the relationship these animals possess (with the viewer) can range from personal, fantastical, and even relatable. The movie Marlee and Me is a great example of personal – many families partake in the experience of raising a pet – cats and dogs are the most popular. However, dogs seem to have a more personal investment in the family. The relationship – and ultimate heartbreak – that spawns with Marlee and Owen Wilson’s character is one almost everyone can personally recall in their own family experience.

The fantastical comes into play when dealing with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. How many kids have grown up watching and idolizing these giant, human like turtles -with each member representing a different facet of personal life. There is the relatable connection in the individuals – personally I grew up loving Donatello due to the scientific nature of the character – but the aspiration of the group is really the connection people are tuning into each week. These characters DO have faults and flaws, but the teamwork they demonstrate in order to achieve an agreed upon goal are lessons everyone should learn. The lessons range from how to work as a team with different individuals and personalities, and accomplishing tasks for the greater good. Whether you are a part of the children’s versions, or the adult versions, the lessons run hand in hand. Also, it doesn’t hurt if our heroes kick some bad-ass shell!

Harry and the Henderons ride the line between fantasy and being relatable. While I choose to believe the infamous Sasquatch exists – it is debateable – the message of accepting something that is not known is a lesson we all need to learn at some point. That movie seems like eons ago, but it can be a metaphor for things of today. People are afraid of things they can’t understand. Simply, they fear because they don’t know. Is this not the same as racism? What about discrimination of women, LGBT community, jocks, nerds, hipsters? There is hate devouring our societies because people do not take the time to understand different groups outside of their own. The world does seem to be getting better. But slowly – very slowly.

Then there are films like Finding Nemo and Homeward Bound – adventures that allow the watchers to understand the importance of family. Working together as a family – blood or not – you can accomplish some amazing feats

As humans maybe we should stop being so blind to our fellow neighbours of the world. Maybe we should take some time out of our busy days and stop – if we stop and listen, our animal friends might have something interesting to say.



Overrated Limousines

5 Mar

I don’t know if I did this story I had in my head justice. So, please if you read it don’t be afraid to comment and tell what you thought. If you enjoyed it let me know. If not, that is just as acceptable. I want to know if I was able to get my point across correctly. This is another one that I might come back to at a later date and re-work. Anyways, I hope you enjoy:

Overrated Limousines

Tyler hopped into the back of the pick-up; as he did this he was blinded by the light that had bounced off the chrome siding of top of the truck. The light had come from the burning, red hot sun on a late June afternoon. Riding in the vehicle with Tyler was his three best friends: Stephan, Denise, and Tom. It was the day after their high school graduation.

“Too bad we couldn’t have gotten to ride in a limo last night,” stated Tom.

“Heh… Limos,” Tyler hesitated.

The idea of limousines was now stuck in Tyler’s mind. Most people relate limousines to celebration – graduations, weddings, New Year’s Eve. People are known to stick their heads out the sun roof and joyously shout toward the stars. They peer over top of all the vehicles, seeing as far as they eye will allow. They can see how the traffic flows; fantasize about the cars that drive past, and the people walking on the sidewalks (clearly not having as much fun as the people in the limo). They can also see the traffic lights that lay ahead. It is almost as if they can see into the future.

Graduation is celebration of great accomplishment. You can be proud to have made it as far as you have. Now it is time to look on to the future – job, school, travel. What are you supposed to do with your life? You grow up with a tight nit group of people, getting to know them inside and out. Creating friendships that you didn’t think were possible. Telling each other everything – the good, the bad, and the ugliness that you wish you never wish to have heard. But, in all of that, you are still glad for being told. The question and fear that happens after every graduation is: Will I remain friends with these people?

New Year’s Eve has a similar notion of looking to the future. People make a resolution, only to break it 23 days later. These plans that are proclaimed are meant to better one’s life. Going from place to place in a limo with all of your friends celebrating the end of one year because it happened to be terrible and doing your best war cry, demanding the world to bring it on as the next year is going to be your year. How is it that every year, that happens to be your year, ends with the celebration of it being over?

Weddings – Weddings are the coming together and sharing that moment of the rest of your lives with the people you love. It is the start of your future. The love of your life is there with you, and now that the two of you are together there is nothing that can stop you. It is time to create something new. The dream of a new house, baby, car, dog and the white picket fence is a dream for everyone.

These notions of celebration and joy all have an idea for the future.

Limousines are typically seen as a luxury that you get when it is time to celebrate. However, for Tyler, that is the complete opposite. The only time that Tyler has been in a limo was at his great grandmother’s funeral. There was not this feeling of looking into the future and imaging how the rest of his life will fare. Instead, Tyler thought about the past. He tried to remember the times that he shared with his great grandmother. Where there many? He was young and didn’t know her well, but he was still sad. Sad for the fact that he didn’t get to know this person that everyone else loved. Tears didn’t hit until late in the service as he saw what it was doing to his parents.  Needless to say, Tyler does not have an affinity to Limousines.

Tyler had something better.

Tyler was in the back of a friends pick up. A few days earlier Stephan, the owner of the truck, had taken the cap off, and the back seats out of his truck. He replaced the seats with a love-seat that fit perfectly the box of the truck. He moved the couch close enough to the front two seats in order to allow for conversation, but made sure there was lots of leg room. As a bonus, there was a case of beer right behind them. A quick reach and everyone – but the driver 😉 – had a beer.

They were cruising down the back roads of the prairies. The weather was perfect – hot enough that they were sweating, but the cold beer and the wind blowing in their faces was refreshing. It was the kind of refreshing when you wake up so thirsty that you think you are about to die, then when you grab a glass of water, you don’t stop until the entire thing is gone. As that last drop of water slithers out of the glass, you are refreshed beyond the means of what you had previously thought possible.

This notion of standing up in a limo had stuck in Tyler’s mind. He just had to give it a try. Tyler stood up and was hit with a blast of wind. It almost knocked him back down due to the shock. Once he regained his balance, Tyler understood that idea of poking your head through the sunroof and peering out. Tyler was in awe. He couldn’t grasp this feeling that was racing through his mind. He did not know it was possible to be overcome with such emotion and at the same time be completely tranquil.

Tyler looked around. He saw wheat fields that had the sun bouncing off of them, giving them a perfectly golden glow. He could not believe his eyes. It was something that he thought that you see in a painting due to its perfection. The real world was not the beautiful, was it?

The aroma of dusty gravel filled his nostrils. It is a smell that is oddly euphoric. It is mixed with the subtle hint of dandelions that are randomly dispersed throughout the ditches. Tyler takes a slight glance down and can see one lonesome bee trying to gather nectar. Being able to focus on that for just a second reminds him, even though the bee is alone right now, it is caring for the rest of the hive. It has a place to go; the same way that Tyler will always find these back prairie roads home.

He glances up from the bee and sees that he has missed a joke that Tom had just told. Stephan and Denise are laughing their asses off. Tyler wishes that he would have heard the joke, but is happier that he gets to see joy expressed in the faces of his best friends. And just like that the people in the limo, he questions if this is going to be something that lasts?

He removes himself from that line of thought and looks ahead, peering into the flat prairie landscape. It is in this moment that he realizes that it does not matter. He can see further – further into the future than anyone has before. Even though he knows that things with these people may end, it is not the last time that he will feel this way. Tyler appreciates that it is these interactions, memories and experiences that will get him through life. These people may come and go, but they will always be important to him. They have helped shape him into the person he will become. The school that he attended, the town he lived, the sports that he played, and the friends that he made will all be something to look back on.

He peers far out taking in the future that he sees for himself; the things he wants out of life. Tyler knows that when he gets to where he wants to go, he will look back through the prairies, through the golden wheat fields, past the bumblebee and the dandelions, forgetting the smell of the gravely dust in the background and deafening the sound of his friends laughter, to know that this moment was perfect. It was the moment that he could look back on at any time of crisis and know: things were going to be okay. It was at this moment he knew that whatever the future would toss his way, life would be good.

Tyler realized that he had kind of trickled off for a few moments. He finally came to and said:

“Limos, who needs em?”

Worst Field Trip Ever!

17 Feb

Hey guys, new short story! I was going to save this and see if I could find someone to draw it out for me. Try to make it into a comic. You’ll find out why as you read it, but it is a bit absurd – which goes perfectly with comics sometimes. However, I wasn’t able to find anyone and I really just want to get some new stuff out there. If anyone that is reading this wants to give it a shot in drawing it out let me know. Contact me through the contact page! Anyways, this is part 1 of what I think will be a 3 part story (I haven’t quite worked out if it will be 3 or 4 parts). Thanks and I hope you enjoy its absurdness.

The Worst Field Trip Ever!

Note to readers: This is a story that takes place in a world quite similar to ours. The same events have happened, the same people have become successful, and we still do not yet know what exactly is in Spam. However, there is one major difference. Inanimate objects have their own unique abilities – not all but some. You might have an umbrella that twists and turns to make sure that they stop every drop. Or you might get unlucky and end up with one that hates the rain as much as you, and uses you to protect them. Just remember that everything is the same… with a little twist.


“Hi. My name is Kevin.” I said to the strangers I had just met. “Earlier today I was on my grade 10 field trip. Where did we go you ask? Good question. The most horrible place on earth: Bwal-Bart.”

The day was just like any regular school day. I got out of bed, had some toaster strudels, a shower, and headed out the door. The thing that was different was that I wasn’t completely dreading school today. School was pretty terrible for me. While I did okay in my classes, I really hated the time that I was wasting on work. All I wanted to do was to be at home and watch some good quality television.

Today was different though. Today was my grade 10 class field trip. Unfortunately it was to Bwal-Bart – a desolate hell hole that I despised with my greatest passion. How could anyone ever think that this place was an, everyday low price, dream come true? Honestly? I think these people must be brainwashed. The thing is people seem to love it there. I still don’t know why we were going to Bwal-Bart, but if it meant getting out of classes I was in – oh and we were also going swimming after to make up for Bwal-Bart.

I headed to class, but I was running a bit late. It took me about 15 minutes to get to school. I always walk by myself. The friends I have live on the other side of the town and we would always meet up just outside of our classroom. Hopefully they would still be there when I arrived at school. As I walked to school I was staring at my permission slip and talking to myself. I tend to talk to myself in order to get my thoughts in order.

“I really can’t stand that Mrs. Megellen. Her French class is terrible and she purposed the idea of Bwal-Bart. How sad must one be to think that is a good idea?” I said to myself and the permission form that I stared at.

“I think they must be 5 times the normal rate of sadness in order to perceive that as a good idea,” the piece of paper pretentiously replied.

“Bah! Stupid paper, I meant that as a rhetorical question.” I said shockingly. It was still difficult sometimes to determine which objects were going to talk back to you.

“Oh sorry mate, I didn’t realize. I can only hear words not tone. My mistake, carry on.” The permission form said cheekily.



I arrived at school just in time to hand in my permission form and head out on our field trip. The really strange thing about our school is it happens to be located in the parking lot of a Bwal-Bart. My school was located on the edge of town and when Bwal-Bart decided to come into our town, they said that a donation would be given to the school in order to allow them to build in that location. Now our school resides in the parking lot. The upside – at least we can walk to our field trip.

Since I was late, I had missed my friends, Jenny and Jerome. I decided to wander around the store by myself to see what I could find. I wandered up and down the vacuum isle. I always found it interesting because the vacuums seemed to have the most personality of all the objects. They ranged from enraged psychopaths to French lovers to stuttering comedians. Each one was a unique object.

“I’m going to suffocate you with my face!”

“<Your eyes make the mountains cry with their beauty>”Translated from French

“an..an..and..t..th..t..the..eleph….elephant is.. i..in. the…refrige…refrigerator.”

The vacuums always gave me a chuckle. But suddenly I got a tap on my arm.

“Hey buddy! I didn’t know that you were going to be here.” It was one of my buddies, Cedric. We have the same humour hence, why I found him the vacuum isle. He was a couple years older than me, but still a pretty good friend. He was a Ginger with the typical curly red hair, fair skin and freckles. He was tall and gangly. He suffered from eczema, his hands and arms always were chapped and cracking. He didn’t let it bug him. In fact, he always made sure that either he or I was making fun of that fact.

“Cedric! My man! I am here on the lamest field trip ever! At least there is swimming after this.” I said excitedly.

“Dude, I know exactly how to change that!”

Cedric took me to the rug section of the store. He had told me about how some of the rugs have different abilities to the rest. Most of them want to keep themselves clean. They can manipulate dustpans and brooms in order to keep the dust off of them. However, there are a few that are rebellious. They like to get dirty and have some fun.

“Here it is.” Cedric pointed to a rug, “This one right here. This is the one I have been telling you about. This is the one that will roll you up inside of it without any effort.”

“Bull!” I shouted, “I thought you were joking, and now I just think you are insane. I know how rugs are, they like to keep clean. Why would they want to take in us with all of our dirt that we dispose of in a day? Especially the way you shed.”

“Just let me show you,” stated Cedric.

Cedric grabbed the rug. It kind of looked like the rug from Disney’s Aladdin. It had a similar pattern as the cartoon version and had the same tassels on the end. The difference lay in the colours. It was a dark blue-grey with vibrant silver that weaved in and out on the surface of the rug. He unfolded it, hanging on to it by the lengthwise ends. He gave me a look that enticed me to watch what he was going to do next. Cedric jumped up, keeping the rug as straight as it could be, when Cedric hit the ground the rug kept its shape, but was able to pull Cedric parallel to the ground, bringing Cedric to the same level as the top of the rug. The rug then proceeded to ravel Cedric up inside of itself. Finally, with Cedric rolled up in the middle of the rug, it fell onto the floor.

I was flabbergasted. It was hard trying to find something to say.

“Holy shit! That was awesome!” poured out my mouth. “I have to try that.”

Cedric climbed out of the rug and handed it to me. I was a bit nervous; not knowing exactly was the sensation might feel like. I grabbed the rug on the lengthwise corners to imitate Cedric. My right hand had held the outer corner of the rug. I prepared myself then I jumped. My feet hit the ground I was magically lifted off the ground. My feet went in the same direction as my right hand until my body was resting up against my arm. For a few moments I was hovering parallel above the ground until the rug decided to start spinning. It spun me face first until I was completely ravelled up in the middle of the rug like I was the chewy centre and the rug was the hard candy outer layer. I hit the floor experiencing no pain from the fall.

What a rush! I didn’t know what else to do. I shouted, “Are you kidding me? That was awesome. Never have I felt something like that before. I’m so doing that again.”

“Hey now, you have to take turns. It’s least you could do for the buddy that told you about this.”

Cedric and I continued this for a full 45 minutes. Each taking turns to get rolled up into the rug. Everything was going fine until someone started shouting at us.

“What are you kids doing!” an angry old man with a slight hobble in his right leg yelled.

“Um…” I hesitated.

“We were just playing around,” Cedric said calmly.

“That is all fine and dandy, but you are interfering with other customers shopping experience. Come with me if you want to live. If my boss catches you annoying other customers he is going to whoop your ass,” said the elderly gentleman.

“You mean that it doesn’t matter that we are playing around?” questioned Cedric.

“Not in the slightest. I don’t care what you kids do while you are here as long as you don’t bug the other customers.”

We followed the older gentleman to an open space within the store so we wouldn’t bother anyone else. We each had a couple more turns before I realized that the Bwal-Bart part of our field trip was over and that I had to leave. Time to Swim!


Walking through the parking lot, on my way back to school where we were going to meet up with our class to go to the swimming pool, I ran into my friends Jenny and Jerome. I told them about how crazy the rug was and that we would have to go check it out a different time.

“I wish I would have been with you to experience that,” said Jenny.

“Oh it was great! I totally thought that we were going to get in trouble. But the old man was awesome. He just took us to a better place to play with the rug,” I ecstatically said.

“I wonder if it was the same guy told us not to play with the record player to loud,” said Jerome.

“He gave us head phones and told us that this would make sure that other customers were not disturbed,” Jenny added.


We were almost back at the school when out of nowhere, Douglas, a senior, came barrelling upon us. He was foaming at the mouth and ranting crazy sayings .

“Nothing beats everyday low prices!” and “Why pay more when you can shop at our store!” were the shrieks that were coming out of Douglas’ mouth. This was odd, because the only person that hated Bwal-Bart more than I did was Douglas.

“Hey man, calm down, what’s going o…ahhh,” I started to say before Douglas grabbed me and gave me a giant bear hug.

Douglas was a big guy, almost sasquatch-esque and I being abnormally skinny didn’t help the matter. His grip was tight and painful. I could start to feel my vertebrae beginning to shift. I started to wiggle and squirm to try and break his steel like grasp that he had on me.

“Stop it!” yelled Jenny as she threw a big piece of pavement that she found amongst the cars in the parking lot. With precision, the oblong piece of pavement struck Douglas atop his forehead. The pavement had broken skin and as the force of the rock caused Douglas’ head to whip back blood splattered on my shirt and in Douglas’ eyes. This caused him to rile with pain, breaking the chain link grasp that he had on me. After Douglas dropped me he screamed with pain and anger that would frighten the devil.

The three of us took off towards the school.

“If we can get inside and into a locked classroom we should be safe,” yelled Jerome.

“Head to Mrs. Megellen’s room, she has the best padlock money can buy. Plus she always keeps that little bit of potash on her desk – just in case.” Jenny screamed back as she weaved in and out of the parked cars.

We ran like our lives depended on it because for all we knew they did. We were able to slip into the school, into Mrs. Megellen’s room and lock the door.

“Why is Douglas after us? And why was he spurting out that stuff about Bwal-Bart?” I asked the group.

“I don’t have a clue,” Jerome said confusingly. “It is almost as if he is brainwashed or something.”

“But why is he coming after us?” I replied.

The other two did not have a response.

We sat quietly, not moving a muscle against the door in fear that Douglas might find us. I slowly and carefully removed myself from the door, turned around a peered through the glass window. It was one of those windows with wire in the inside to give it extra strength. At first all I saw was cloudiness and the wire. Once my vision got clearer I saw nothing – just an empty hallway.

WHAM! A hand punched the window. I leapt backward due to the fear and surprise that Douglas had found us and was attempting to get in. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! SMASH! The glass broke. Douglas was almost into the room.

“I’m not going to let that happen to me. I’ll unlock, I’ll unlock,” said the pad lock that kept us from Douglas.

The lock unlocked itself and the door slowly swung open. Douglas stopped for a second to stare us down. We were huddled together shivering due to Douglas’ terror.

“The only way we are going to get out of here is if one of us creates a distraction. You guys get ready to make a break for it.” spoke Jerome half heroically.

You could tell that Jerome was scared, but when Jerome said something, there was no turning back. We knew we couldn’t change his mind. Jerome jumped up on Mrs. Megellen’s desk and grabbed her potash.

“Douglas! Look at me you dirty stinking ape!” Jerome yelled as fiercely he could muster.

“No please don’t. Please don’t throw me at that. It won’t be good for either of us,” Said the piece of potash.

Douglas turned to him and headed toward the desk. As he did Jenny and I headed for the door. Jerome threw the piece of potash at him in hopes that he could have a similar result as Jenny did with the pavement. Douglas was ready. He caught the potash and threw it right back at Jerome with startling precision. Jerome was knocked out cold.

“Ouch! Told you,” said the piece of potash.

This happened so quickly that Jenny and I had not made it out the door. Douglas swung around and tried to grab anything that was in reach. Luckily I ducked at the correct time and he missed me. The problem became when Douglas grabbed a hold of Jenny.

Jenny screamed and shrieked at me, “Keep going. Save yourself so that you can go get help.”

I did not want to go, but I knew that she was right. I kept running through the door and didn’t look back. Both my friends were captured what was I going to do? I slowed up a little and looked over my shoulder to make sure that Douglas was not continuing after me. When I realized that nothing was behind me I kept running down the hallway.

With amazing and shocking speed Douglas jumped out in front of me on my right, where the entrance way was located. There were now only two directions in which I could go. I could take the hallway to my left and just keep running. The problem with that is Douglas would be right behind me and I would be too far to the outside. The best option was to try and go straight towards the old gymnasium. It would be the quickest way to get outside. That way there would be better hiding places and I could get help.

I slid directly at Douglas. I think it baffled him because I went cleanly through his legs. The entrance to the old gym was a double door with a post in the middle. It was like that in order to lock the doors separately. I grabbed the middle poll in order to swing myself around in the direction of the door that would lead me outside. However, as I did that I saw something that I never seen before. Something that I didn’t think even existed. I knew about the inanimate objects that did different things, or spoke. But this was the likes of something that I never thought possible.

As I flung myself around the poll a giant monster appeared. It was in the shape of a Sour Cream container. Of course it had to be sour cream, I hate sour cream.

The giant sour cream container was roughly the size of a mini-van. Even with its size it was proportional to a 226g container that you would find in the grocery store. It had giant pipe cleaners wrapped around its body with another set of pipe cleaners extended from the lid that looked like giant antenna. Attached to the top of the pipe cleaners were giant googly eyes; the kind that you would see on a sock puppet, its eyes rolling around not quite focusing on one thing, but I knew it was staring at me. It wanted to get me. Its lid folded in. It wasn’t quite in half, but pretty close. This looked like a giant mouth. Protruding from its make shift mouth were sets of plastic triangles that had been glued to the rim of lid and top of the bowl half. These were its teeth. Many sharp plastic teeth surrounded this section of the monster. It looked like it was the jaw of a great white shark bearing its teeth. It was terrifying.

There was nothing that I could do. I was a fish out of water with nowhere to go, nowhere to escape. The giant sour cream container opened wide and swallowed me whole.

“And you guys kind of know the rest,” I said to the other 5 people that were trapped inside the giant sour cream container monster. “Needless to say, but… Worst. Field. Trip. Ever! Um… but the question is what do we do next?”

To be continued…

What did you do this weekend?

10 Oct

Usually I have the reason for my post before I share it with you. However, this one will be different. Story first and then explanation second. Also, this is my first short story that I’ve posted, so please, any comments are welcome. Good or Bad. I don’t care if you found my story the best thing ever, or the most boring piece of crap. Let me know, the only way I can get better is to see what I may be doing wrong/what people like. Thanks!

Paul was a shy kid. He did not typically do things that were considered part of the norm. Action movies, Jersey Shore, American Idol and other shows that turned your brain into puree were not part of Paul’s watching repertoire. Paul was enthralled by things that made you use your brain. Something that society is typically lacking as of late.

The ability to use your imagination is somewhat of a past element. Paul immensely enjoyed any type of medium that made him think. It could be a movie like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or a book such as the Foundation Trilogy. As long as Paul was using his noggin’ he could find pleasure in whatever it is he was doing. Because of this, Paul was into things that were typically considered to be “nerdy,” or “geeky.” With society’s invalid values of people labeled with these terms Paul was always an outsider. Lucky enough for Paul, he was not so far outside that there was no chance of him getting back in, but enough that he was straddling the fence.

Given that Paul was shy and classified as a nerd, it was hard for him to make a connection with people. Obviously, Paul did have friends, but it was difficult to make new ones. It was even more difficult to approach girls. For most people, there is always that fear of being rejected, but being in Paul’s position his fear was increased tenfold. The result was that it took him roughly 12 years to ask his crush out on a date. Twelve years of trying to say “Hi,” as she walked by. Twelve years of writing notes to put into her locker, only to chicken out at the last minute. Twelve years of awkwardly making his presence known just enough, that he would not fall by the wayside. Twelve years of being fed up. Twelve years until he finally got the courage to, in one giant and outlandish gesture, ask out Emma.


Emma was one of the prettiest girls in school. One of two reasons, that Paul had a crush on her. Emma was slightly shorter than him. She had the curly red hair, just like his favourite Spider-man love interest. She had that innocent face; her eyes the blue-green shade of an apatite gemstone, the small little nose that reminded him of a cute little rabbit, and thin lips that always appeared to be soft and glossy.

The second reason Paul liked Emma was that she was nice to him. When he did finally get up the courage to say “Hi,” she said it right back. She always made sure she said something nice to him when she, unknowingly to Paul, caught him not being able to put that note in her locker. She found it sweet and wanted to boost his confidence. Emma was the kind of person that did not judge anyone, always willing to give someone a chance. Paul saw this even when it was not directed at him. Emma was always willing to have the science lab partner that no one else wanted. She would make sure that she would not let the unpopular kids get picked last in gym class; an overall kind spirit. This happened throughout all of high school. The problem being, they were not in high school anymore.


It was the first year of university for both Emma and Paul. They were one of the few students from their high school that decided to attend university. In high school they had all of their classes together. This was good for Paul. It was a way for him to still let Emma know that he existed, but he could still be his shy self without being totally forgotten.

Things were different now that they were in university. They only had one class together. The only upside to this was that it gave Paul an excuse to talk to her. They were the only two people that each other knew in this giant class of 300. Paul was still shy though. Even when they did sit together, Emma did most of the talking. Paul merely shrugged a few times and was limited to one word answers. Emma noticed this and instead of asking questions like, “How was your weekend?” which would be answered with a measly, “Good,” she started asking questions that would make Paul speak.

“You know, you don’t speak much do you?” curiously questioned Emma.

“No,” Paul replied shortly.

“Why is that?”


“Because isn’t an answer Mr. I only speak in one word sentences.”

“…” Paul was speechless after this. What was he going to say? He could not tell her that he has had a crush on her for ages. He couldn’t say that he would have sat behind her, if it wasn’t for her noticing him and asking him to sit next to her the first day of classes. What was he going to do? Paul started to squirm a little in his seat until Emma spoke again.

“I know you are shy and all. We did go to high school together. But come on man, talk. I’m not a stranger. You know, we did share every class together in high school before we got to this big campus. I would think by now that you could string together at least a four word sentence after I ask you a question.” Emma said all of this in a way that was firm, but jokey enough that Paul wouldn’t get freaked out and never speak to her again. In fact, it was almost comforting.

Paul replayed back what he had just heard. “We did share every class together…” Paul realized that she remembered. She knew who he was and that she cared. When he thought that he was doing just enough not to fall off the radar, he was actually doing enough to put himself on the map with a big flag that said “Look at me! I am right over here!” This is when he realized that maybe there wasn’t anything to be afraid of when talking to Emma. This is when he knew that he was going to ask her out. But he couldn’t do it yet. He had to plan it out. The time had to be right. But he had to say something in the meantime.

“Well…it’s… it’s… I just find your stories so much more interesting. I would rather listen to you, than… than talk about what I did on the weekend.” Paul said hesitantly.

“Holy! He speaks,” joked Emma, “well that’s sweet and all, but seriously, I get tired of talking sometimes. It would be nice just to hear what you have to say every once in a while.”


“Yeah really. So what did you do this weekend?”

“Well… I’m trying to not answer this in one word but… Nothing.”

“Oh come on! You did nothing? You stared into space and just sat there for two days? You had to have done something,” said Emma.

“Alright, alright, I studied for a bit and then read a book; nothing real interesting.”

“Okay you’re right, that is nothing… Haha! But seriously, that’s cool. At least I know now that you are not some sort of zombie.”


Paul knew that he would likely have to act quickly in order to ask out Emma. Being in first year university, you meet so many people in such a short period of time. Everyone is looking for some sort of connection. It is just the way things work. Emma had even started to talk about other guys which made Paul uncomfortable. He didn’t want to fall into the friend zone. He had waited too long for this day to come. He needed to ask her out soon. And he knew exactly how he was going to do it.


Finally the day had arrived. Everything was in place. Paul had his master plan and was ready to carry it out. No matter what happened, Paul was going to ask out Emma today. No turning back, no chickening out; all or nothing. All Paul had to do was, wait for Emma to come to him.

Emma came into the lecture theatre that hosted the class that Paul and her shared. Paul was usually already there holding a spot for Emma next to him. This time however, Paul was nowhere to be seen. She approached their usual spot to find a card folded on the top of the desk. It reminded her of a place setting card in the way that it was folded and in big letters had Emma written on it. Curiously she opened it up to find a note on the inside. But wait, it wasn’t just any note. It was a poem; one that had been derived from of the most memorable quotes of her favourite movie. It was short and to the point. It also gave a nice hint as to where to go after class. It kept on running through her mind during class. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. She read it over and over again. Instead of writing notes for the class she kept writing the poem down:

If I let go of your hand

Will you jump in the water with me?

Excitement while lying in the middle of the street

But being with you makes the world go quiet

If you’re a bird

Then, I’m a bird

If you’re intrigued

Meet me under the bronzed steed

The last line was what intrigued her most. There were only a handful of people that knew her favourite place on campus: Under the bronze statue of a horse. She loved it because it brought back childhood memories. Memories of Emma’s grandfather taking her out on a horse for the first time. Emma would go there in her break between classes to study and relax. The shade that the horse provided reminded her of sitting on the porch of her grandparent’s house. It was one of Emma’s favourite places as a child.

As soon as class ended Emma rushed to the bronze steed. Nervous, not knowing who she would find, but anxious to figure out who would know her well enough to make this grand gesture. As she approached the statue, she was shocked to have her admirer revealed. Standing underneath the tall majestic horse was Paul. There he stood with Gerber Daisies, Emma’s favourite flower, in hand. She approached slowly and before she could say anything Paul piped up.

“Emma, I know I haven’t had the courage to say this before, but I have it now. Surprisingly, you are the one that gave it to me in the first place. So without you, this idea and my acting on said idea would have never happened.” Paul took a short pause to breathe deeply before he continued. “Emma… I have liked you for a long time. You have always been kind to me. Lately you have even tried to make me more sociable, something that has always been difficult for me. Yet here I stand, because of you, expressing my longest secret. I don’t feel afraid anymore to confront you about this. It has now become something that I have to do, without fearing future regret. I know this is a long winded way of saying it, but… Emma, will you go out with me?”

The only thing that Emma could say after being shell-shocked like this was:



The day of the date had finally arrived. Because of Paul and Emma’s busy school schedule, they had to make the date on a Sunday. Paul had dreamed of this day for ages. Ever since the first grade, Paul had this vision of taking a girl to a fancy restaurant and giving her flowers. He had that vision even before he saw Emma. It was only seconds later that he first met Emma, and he knew that he wanted it to be her that he took out on that wonderful date.

Paul was nervous. He had already planned to take her to one of his favourite places. This place wasn’t too fancy that they would feel out of place being university students, but one that was still classy with a good vibe. Paul was still going to dress nice. A nice dark blue pair of jeans, a white collared shirt, a grey sweater vest, and a simple black tie was his attire. His hands were shaking as he was trying to tie his own tie. After a few tries, Paul was left with a knot that was acceptable.

Before Paul left his own place, he sent Emma a text message stating that he was on his way to pick her up. Paul was still had an old fashioned mentality. He would walk up to the door, ring the doorbell, introduce himself and escort Emma to his car. To his surprise, Emma had already replied back to him seconds after his original message.

“Text me when you get here. Don’t bother coming to the door,” was Emma’s reply.

Paul thought that maybe it was so he did not disturb anyone else in the house. Because of this, he decided to follow her message. Emma came running out the door shortly after he had sent the text. Before Paul had time to get out of the car and open the door for his date, Emma was already sitting next to him.

Emma was dressed in casual clothes. She was wearing a light coloured pair of jeans, a light pink t-shirt and a white hooded coat. Paul still thought she looked amazing and kind of shrugged off that they were going to a bit a fancier place.

“Don’t you look fancy,” Emma mentioned as she took a look at Paul’s clothing.

“Well… I just thought… that I.. I would,” Paul hesitated a little, “dress to impress.”

“Well I’m glad you thought of that, but you know you really don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but.. but I wanted too.”

“Fair enough.”

The restaurant that they were going to was located in the downtown core of the city. Parking was usually a hassle. Paul fluked out and got a good spot relatively quickly. This was because it was a Sunday. Something was off as they approached The Freehouse. There were no lights on and no one appeared to be in restaurant. They walked up to the door, only to notice on the sign that it was closed. The only day it was closed was Sundays.

“Hmm…” Paul mumbled before stating, “Even though this is my favourite place, I never knew that it was closed Sundays.”

“That’s okay. Do you have a back up?” questioned Emma.

“No, I didn’t expect this.” Paul said in a bit of a stunned haze. What was he going to do now? He had this night planned out and this threw a wrench in his plans.

“That’s okay, let’s go to Earl’s. It’s one of my favs!” Emma proclaimed.

“Sure, why not.”


“You know… I don’t think I have ever eaten there before.”

“You’ll like it. It’s a guarantee.”

“I’ll hold you to it”

Even though Paul seemed to be a bit of a deer in the headlights after his little fiasco of The Freehouse being closed, he thought that the night was going pretty good so far. They had just been seated at the new restaurant. This was it, the night he had thought of for so long. His dream was coming true. He could just see it now, the future was flashing before his eyes. This was just the beginning – The beginning of the rest of their lives.

The two’s conversation was going alright. They were laughing a bit, asking each other deeper questions than they usually do in class. Not just the regular, “What did you do on the weekend?” There came a point where, after every time someone finished their sentence, each of them took a drink from their glass of water. They were both doing it at the end of each other’s sentences. At the rate they were going, they would be drinking 42 cups of water. Paul finally realized that this was happening.

“It’s funny we both decide to take a drink at the same time,” Paul said, trying to make a joke.

“It’s the awkward reflex. One of the things you do until you think of the next thing to say,” Emma said, quite to the point. “It looks like we just both keep going back to the same one.”


“It’s quite common you know.”

Was it? Was it really? Paul didn’t know what to think from Emma’s statement. What does this mean? Paul was questioning everything now. He had thought that this night was going great, only to find out that they were both reacting to reflexes that were caused by not being completely comfortable. What could he do to fix this? It couldn’t end before it had really begun, could it? Paul couldn’t believe that this had happened and they hadn’t even received their food yet.

“The roasted chicken with rice?” questioned the server.

“Right here,” Paul stated.

“And you must be the salmon. Enjoy.”

“Thanks,” Paul and Emma stated in unison.

“This looks good,” said Paul, “I can’t wait to eat.”

Little talking went on while they ate. Paul thought to himself, “I know that the conversation should diminish slightly while we eat. But to have almost none? What is going on?” This was a question that Paul could not answer. When they did talk however, Emma brought up topics about Jersey Shore, American Idol, and many other topics that he had grown to hate because it did not develop the imagination. He was a smart guy, but this whole business was new to him. They had laughed a lot during class. Why couldn’t they continue that over a meal? How could she like these shows that did nothing for the brain and society? Why was his dream suddenly coming crashing to the ground?

“Oh wow that was some great salmon. How was your chicken?” asked Emma.

“Good, really good,” lied Paul. He actually thought that the chicken was tough and cold. A combination that he thought would be oxymoronic.

Paul had planned to go to a movie as well, but it just seemed like the night was dragging. He asked if Emma wanted to be taken home after the meal and she agreed. Paul parked the car in front of Emma’s house and the two just sat there. They both realized that something was missing. Something was off. They couldn’t explain it, but they had a silent agreement on their situation.

As Emma hopped out of the car she thanked Paul for the dinner and said, “See you in class.”

That was it. They were friends and there wasn’t anything else he could do about it. His dream had been shattered. How was he going to face her the next day in class? He came up with the solution that he would just show up late and sit somewhere in front or behind Emma. He would just go back to being the guy that was just in the same class as her.


After Paul got home, he did what he would normally do if he wasn’t going out. He dived into a new book. Because he was a fast reader, he finished it that night and something occurred to him in the reading. The two main characters of the book, a male and female, were best friends. They got along in so many ways, but the dynamic to them was strangely familiar. They were friends. Nothing else. They both knew the roles in each other’s lives. This was why Paul always enjoyed reading, over watching the many mind numbing variety shows that were on the television. It gave him insight into his own life.

The next day he went to class the same time he always did. Paul sat down where he usually sat. Just like clockwork, Emma showed up a couple minutes later. Finally Paul knew what was going to happen between the two of them.

Before Emma could say anything Paul said, “How was your weekend?”

This story came to be because of a conversation that I had with a friend. We were talking about a girl that I thought was pretty cute. I was worried however, that she may be too young. I found that when we did have a chance to talk that conversation was one that was difficult to start. It was forced. This led me to some of my other attempts at relationships. Some were good. Some were bad.

I have actually had semi-relationships with a few people and still remained friends with them. I think that this is a strength and weakness of mine. It is something that I always try to maintain because let’s face it, having a bad break up is shitty – to be blunt. Don’t get me wrong, I have had a few where I just avoid like everyone else would. I just think that it is something if you can still be friends with someone after you have attempted romantic relationship.

While it does rarely work, it is something that I will continually try to make happen. It also saddens me when I cannot pull it off. It just seems like a waste. There is obviously some sort of connection. While it may stop being physical/romantic, there was a reason why it got to that point. You must have had something in common (in most cases) to get to that point.

The biggest thing that pains me in my own attempt to find “the one” as the fantasy goes, is finding that someone that you think is the said “one.” There have been a few for me as of late. And while it may seem crazy, I tend to see something there within the first few dates. I see something there that isn’t. Just like my character of Paul. I imagine something that I want to be. I am trying to jump ahead – attempting to skip the progressions of a normal relationship. I will admit to being a hopeless romantic. I don’t know why, but for whatever reason I believe in that story of knowing that you will be with someone forever, just after the first/second date.

This concept has happened to me. I have had relationships that I thought were going to go the distance. Even though it ended, I still remain friends with these people. Conversely, I have had the ones that only last a couple of dates because I (apparently) try to progress things too quickly. I put apparently in there because I was trying to keep my distance for the initial part, because I knew of the person’s past relationship. Even with my effort I was still moving too fast.

I don’t complain about any of this. I bring up these examples because I just want to show the inspiration for this story. The idea that many people have in mind what they want in a significant other. What they want their life to be in the future. But when you think you come across that person, you want to hold on to them. The idea is, if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. There was obviously something there that brought you together. And, while you may not remain friends forever (people just grow apart), there isn’t a reason that people still can’t remain friends in that period of their life.

If you realize what others are worth to you, then maybe, even if things don’t work out how you want you can still keep what it is that brought you together in the first place. And ideally, for those hopeless romantics out there like I, all of these other experiences are just going to lead you to that person that you have been searching for from the beginning. Not the one that asks you “how your weekend was,” but the one that is right there to share that experience with you.